Posts tagged compassion

A PAGE FROM A DOCTOR’S DIARY

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The Power of Communication

Don’t come to see me again if you do not stop smoking and drinking alcohol!

Seven years ago, I had said this to one of my patients. At that time, it came from good intent (and probably a little bit of entitlement). Smoking can cause serious complications after any surgery. For us doctors, it’s a no-brainer.

I had meant it as lighthearted advice, hoping it would serve as negative motivation. But what I said in passing, was taken to heart by my patient. I never imagined he would take it so seriously.

Soon after, he was lost to follow-up. Our repeated calls went unanswered. Then COVID struck, and a few more years slipped by.

Last week, out of the blue, I received a desperate message from him: “Doctor, I really need your help! Can I see you?” He was suffering from multiple complications.

When he finally walked into my clinic, my first question was, “Why didn’t you reach out to us in all these years?”

“His reply stunned me: “Doctor, you had told me not to come back if I could not quit smoking and drinking….. And I couldn’t.”

In that moment, my heart sank as I realized the weight of my words. What I had dismissed as a casual remark had kept a patient away from care for years.

I had underestimated the power of addiction, and overestimated the impact of reprimand. Despite years of medical training, I had failed to acknowledge that addiction is not just a habit—it is a disease.

Patients don’t need ultimatums for their disease; they need guidance, empathy, and support. That day I learned an important lesson. Communication is as powerful as any prescription we write. The right words can inspire change, while careless ones can close doors for years.

As doctors, perhaps the best medicine we can offer is the ability to guide with compassion rather than judge with authority.

Despite years of experience, we sometimes falter. Time and again we are reminded that medicine is not just about science and skill, but also about humility and the willingness to reflect, to learn from our mistakes, and to correct ourselves for the sake of those who trust us with their lives.

©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

A page from a Doctor’s Diary

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LOOKING THROUGH THE HOSPITAL CORRIDORS

Hospitals are places where life unfolds in its truest forms—birth, healing, pain, and sometimes loss. For most of us working in a hospital, our days are fast paced. They are measured in patient rounds, surgeries, emergencies, clinics, meetings, academics, audits and reports. In the middle of all this, it is easy to forget that the people who stand beside us, supporting the system in quiet ways, have their own stories too.

The other day, after finishing a surgery, I happened to overhear one of our support staff members speaking to someone about her married daughter. I was surprised—I had never realized she had a daughter who was already grown up and married. Almost playfully, I asked her if she was soon going to be a grandmother! Her face fell, and with sadness in her voice, she told me that her daughter had recently suffered a miscarriage.

I was taken aback. In that moment, I realized how little we often know about the lives of those who work around us. Even though her thoughts are constantly with her daughter and she grieves quietly, she continues to perform her duties without any fuss. We—the doctors, nurses, and medical teams—are at the forefront. But those who clean the wards, carry supplies, or ensure the smallest of tasks are done, often remain invisible in the system. And yet, they are so important to it—working with dignity while carrying burdens that most of us never see.

That brief exchange was a reminder to me that compassion cannot be limited to patients alone. It has to extend to everyone we encounter in these corridors. Sometimes, all it takes is a pause, a gentle question, or even silent acknowledgment that behind every uniform is a human being with joys, sorrows and unspoken battles.

As carers, we must remember: even carers need care at times. And perhaps the true spirit of healing begins not just in how we treat our patients, but in how we treat each other too.