A Renowned Laparoscopic And Bariatric Surgeon From India.
A Renowned Laparoscopic And Bariatric Surgeon Srom India.
Soon after we finished the question and answer session in a CME, a doctor came up to me and had a short conversation about weight loss medications. Then he asked me, “Madam, are you a dietitian?” I glanced at my colleague, a brilliant surgeon in …
©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker Last week, my son had one of his first serious #publicspeaking assignments at school. As always, he wanted to set a benchmark for himself. With no siblings for comparison, he turned to my husband and me, eager to hear about our …
©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker
“I am continuously trying, but I feel like I’m constantly failing.”
This was the first thing she said when we started talking about her weight issues. She was a 32-year-old working mother of a 16 months old baby girl, struggling with obesity, exhaustion written all over her face. Every day was a battle between juggling work, home, baby and her own well-being.
Her day started early, rushing through chores before heading to work. She worked long hours, returning home only by 9:30 p.m. By then, her little girl—who had been waiting for her all day—wanted all her mother’s time and attention. And how could a mother say no? She played with her, fed her, and held her until she fell asleep. Then came the household tasks—cleaning up, preparing for the next day, squeezing in a few moments of personal time before finally collapsing into bed, usually around 1 a.m. And the cycle repeated, day after day, month after month.
The weight kept piling on. She desperately wanted to prioritize her health. She knew she needed to exercise, eat better, and get proper sleep. But by the end of the day, there would be no time and energy left. She had tried waking up earlier to fit in a workout, but sheer exhaustion made it impossible. She tried to meal prep, but something always got in the way. Life was like an express train without brakes.
As doctors, we often advice our patients to aim for balance—to have a structured schedule, to eat clean, to work out, to prioritize sleep hygiene, to make time for themselves. But in real life, especially for women who are juggling work, home, and motherhood, is balance truly possible? Advice alone is not enough. What women really need is, tangible support—partners who share responsibilities, workplaces that accommodate their realities, families that step in when needed.
She looked at me, eyes filled with frustration and exhaustion. “I know I need to do better. I want to. But I just don’t know how.”
And I had no perfect answer for her. Because the truth is, she wasn’t failing—she was surviving. Every single day, she showed up, doing her best for her child, her work, and her home. In the process she could not do justice to herself. As doctors, we often find ourselves helpless in bridging the gap between the ideal and the reality of lived experiences.
She didn’t need more advice. She needed reassurance. She needed to hear that she was already doing enough and things will eventually get easier and better. That she wasn’t alone. That her worth was not tied to a number on the scale or the hours spent exercising. Because balance isn’t about perfect schedules—it’s about grace. It’s about finding kindness for yourself in the midst of chaos.
As doctors, we must remember that medicine is not only about prescriptions and protocols—it’s about people. We need more compassion, more acceptance, and a deeper understanding of the lives our patients lead. Because sometimes, healing is not just about more advice—it’s simply letting them know they are seen and heard.
She sighed, stood up, and adjusted the bag on her shoulder. “I’ll try again,” she said softly.
And I hoped that, someday, the world would make it easier for women like her.
#WorkingMoms #StrugglesOfMotherhood #ObesityAwareness #MoreThanWillpower #SupportMatters #BalanceIsHard #HealthBeyondAdvice
Nineteen dietitians! That’s how many my patient had consulted before she walked into my clinic today for a consultation for #weightloss. She had tried everything—calorie counting, portion control, intermittent fasting, medical diets, naturopathy, —only to be met with the same assumptions: She must be eating …
©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker Over the past week, I have been trying to figure out what is my real issue with the recent statement made by L&T Chairman, Mr. S. N. Subrahmanyan, proposing a 90-hour workweek. It’s not just him; similar sentiments were voiced by …
THE POWER OF A COMMON MAN
©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker
My husband and I have always divided our household chores equally. If I order vegetables, he orders the fruits. If our cook doesn’t show up, either one of us can step in to cook. If I teach our son math, he takes him for the tennis class. And if I have a challenging day at the hospital, he makes sure to order something nice for dinner. This balance has been the rhythm of our lives for almost two decades.
The other day, I overheard him ordering fruits on the phone. We’ve been getting our fruits from Guddu for over five years. We first became regulars at his small roadside shop, and later, he started delivering fruits directly to our home. He knows our preferences and always brings us the best of the lot. If certain fruits aren’t good that season, he’ll always let us know. Now we don’t even need to check on anything. He is extremely trustworthy and that’s the kind of relationship we’ve shared with him for years.
This time, however, the phone conversation seemed unusually long. After the list of fruits, words like Bajaj, Tata, Reliance, stocks, equity, and investments floated through the air. Curious, I listened for a bit longer and realized my husband wasn’t just ordering fruits—he was giving Guddu investment advice! I must say that this exchange between my white-collar husband and Guddu, our trusted fruit vendor, left me both amused and was deeply thought provoking.
This small interaction left me reflecting on two things. The first was about the relationships we form with people in our extended community. Over time, we had come to trust Guddu with our fruits, and in return, Guddu trusted my husband with his finances and investments. These bonds, built on mutual respect and trust, add so much richness to our lives. They go beyond mere transactions and bring a sense of connection in an increasingly impersonal world.
In today’s age of impersonal and faceless online deliveries, where convenience is king, these human interactions are often lost. While digital apps offer unparalleled efficiency—allowing us to receive groceries and everything else under the sun (from a to z!) at the click of a button—they lack the warmth, trust, and familiarity that come with personal interactions. Every call to Guddu isn’t just about fruits—it’s an opportunity for a meaningful conversation that can inspire and uplift. Such moments of connection reduce loneliness, decrease stress, and bring genuine happiness. In a fast-paced world, they remind us of the joy of slowing down and forming real relationships within our universe.
The second thought was about the evolution of the common man. Here was Guddu, a fruit vendor, discussing stocks and investments with ease. It was inspiring to see how even someone from modest means has an aspiration to secure a better future. Guddu’s aspirations for growth, his awareness of financial tools, and his willingness to seek advice speak volumes about the changing mindset of the common man in India.
He wasn’t just saving money—he was thinking about growing it. This reflects a profound hopefulness, not just for himself but for the next generation. He has no hesitation, no shame in asking for help, and a deep-seated belief in striving for something better. It’s a lesson for all of us: ambition, curiosity, and openness to learning can transform lives.
Guddu gives me hope. He truly embodies the dialogue of Shahrukh Khan—“Don’t underestimate the power of a common man.” He reminds me that the drive to improve, the courage to ask, and the willingness to grow are not limited by one’s circumstances or educational/financial status. It’s this spirit that makes the common man so extraordinary and inspires us all to believe in a better tomorrow.
©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker As we step into 2025, a quarter of this century has already passed. It’s fascinating to reflect on the world of 1925, a hundred years ago, and to imagine what it might look like a hundred years ahead, in 2125. We …
Beyond the prescription ©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker I’ve always enjoyed talking to my patients, and as much as I love surgery, I truly cherish my time in the OPD. However, the time available in the OPD is limited, and we need to cover a lot …
KEEP THE FAITH
Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker
Last week marked my son’s 11th birthday! We celebrated this milestone with an unforgettable family getaway in Goa. I was hoping to avoid the usual pressure of organizing a birthday party and the works…. (that plan kind of failed as the party eventually did happen after coming back
….. but that’s a story for another day!).
Even though we had not planned anything special, it turned out to be a beautiful day. Goa has this lovely vibe filled with joy and happiness and when combined with birthday excitement it gets elevated to a totally different level altogether. Everywhere we went, strangers came up to him and wished him a happy birthday! During lunch, we asked the restaurant to play the birthday song, and almost every guest there joined in singing for him (he was embarrassed, but secretly delighted!).
Later in the evening, we found ourselves on the beach, where a few amateur anglers were casting their lines. Our sunny boy was really keen to try fishing, so we approached them with a birthday request to borrow their fishing rods. They were more than happy to share some tips and let us have a go at it ourselves.
It was the generosity of strangers that truly made the day special and filled it with unexpected joy.
We dedicated his 11th birthday to all the kind “#strangers” in our #gratitudejournal that night.
However, as a parent, the word “stranger”, is associated with a lot of negative connotations. We teach our children to be wary of strangers from a very early age, and rightly so. Most of us (including myself) would skip a heartbeat if we saw our kids interacting with someone unfamiliar. We train them to have a very high degree of suspicion when it comes to strangers and their intent. This is universal. Be it boys or girls. We tell them that no uncle or aunt is “safe”. We expect them to maintain a safe distance from everyone. I think I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said that we actually teach our children to be suspicious of other human beings from childhood. In doing so, we may inadvertently teach our children to be mistrustful of others from a very young age. This creates a contradiction: we want them to be team players while simultaneously instructing them not to trust people. Children’s brains are not mature enough to navigate such mixed messages, and I can’t help but wonder what kind of adults we are shaping who might carry #suspicion as a core value.
Today our world is hyperconnected and yet human beings are feeling increasingly isolated day by day. We can sit side by side on flights across continents for hours without exchanging a simple “hello.” Be it adults or children, we find more and more comfort in connecting with our screens than with other people. As our world shifts online, we are stepping into uncharted territories of negativity. Unfortunately, the trolls that once lurked beneath bridges have now surfaced online and are crossing boundaries that were once unimaginable. Behind the veil of anonymity, people can unleash a cruelty that is often suppressed in face-to-face interactions. Ironically, as we overprotect our children, we limit their opportunities to engage with others, leaving them more vulnerable to these unseen, cruel forces that can negatively impact their mental health.
Unfortunately, today the acceptable norms of negativity, mistrust and disrespect have reached a new high, with even the leaders of some of the world’s greatest nations engaging in behaviours that undermine their stature. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), this increases the ratings of media outlets and news channels, highlighting the disturbing shift in what we as a society accept as entertainment today. It creates a very poor example for the next generation, who are left questioning whom they can look up to.
However, a few lessons I’ve learned in life are that people, by and large, are still kind. Kindness is still the norm… (kidnapping is the exception!). While I’ve experienced a chain-snatching incident once, I’ve had auto drivers return my lost phones four times, sometimes even after a month (yes, I can be a bit absent-minded!). I’ve made friends with strangers—though some of these friendships didn’t last, others have endured for decades. And despite all its negative aspects, our phones have actually helped us stay in touch with childhood friends more easily. Even after 35 years, I still share memories of school days with my group of class five friends on our WhatsApp chat.
Trust has been the foundation of my life. I’ve trusted in the unknown, and magic has happened in my life many times. As my son turns another year older, my wish for him is to receive the gift of trusting in the unknown, in the goodness of strangers, and most importantly, in himself. I hope he learns that while the world has its share of challenges, faith in people and in life can open doors to endless possibilities. I hope that he is able to be realistically optimistic in this fast-changing world of ours.
Life is far too short to get caught up in negativity, and true magic only happens when we keep the faith.
That’s my wish for him— and perhaps a reminder to myself too: to always believe in the beauty of the unexpected and to trust that kindness, in the end, outweighs everything else. Keep the faith, and let life surprise you.
PS: Image is AI generated
रेप तो हर जगह होता है ©डॉ. अपर्णा गोविल भास्कर कुछ लोग कहते हैं, क्या हुआ जो एक डॉक्टर का रेप हुआ, रेप तो हर जगह होता है, कभी रात के अंधेरे में , तो कभी भरी दुपहरी में, कभी सुनसान सड़कों पे, तो कभी …