Posts tagged motivation

When failure is not an option

My husband and I recently binge-watched “Made in India- A Titan Story”. The eloquently told six-episode series chronicles the journey of Titan and its visionary leader, Xerxes Desai. It takes you through the highs and lows of building one of India’s most iconic watch brands and keeps you gripped till the very end.

It is a story of innovation, risk-taking and institutional patience.

But most of all, it is a story about having the “freedom to fail”.

Every time Xerxes Desai failed, he celebrated that freedom. Failure wasn’t an embarrassment; it was a stepping stone to the next breakthrough.

Since then, I have been thinking about- the freedom to fail.

Almost every profession is given the luxury of failure.

Entrepreneurs are encouraged to “fail fast.”

Scientists spend years failing before they finally discover something.

ISRO learnt invaluable lessons from the failures of Chandrayaan-2 before Chandrayaan-3 scripted history.

Historically, politicians have failed with astonishing regularity. I mean look at the world around us today. Do we need anymore evidence for their failures?

And then there is medicine…
It is probably the only profession in the world where failure is not an option.

Not because doctors are superhuman.
Not because we never make mistakes.
But because the consequences of failure are measured on a very different scale.

In business, failure may cost money.

In politics, it may cost votes.

In sport, it may cost a trophy.

But in medicine, it can leave behind unbearable pain, a permanent disability, a grieving family and sometimes, a tombstone.

That is a burden every doctor carries from day one.

People often ask me whether surgery becomes easier after nearly two decades.

Technically, yes.

Emotionally, never.

I still pause before every operation. I still prepare obsessively. I still replay difficult cases in my mind. I still pray every time before a surgery.

Because when someone lies unconscious on an operating table, they have surrendered complete control with absolute trust. They have placed their life in our hands.

That privilege can never become routine.

We are never given the freedom to fail. And yet, as doctors we obsessively devote our lives to studying failure.

We learn from our own mistakes, and from those of others. We continuously question, refine, teach and learn—because everything we do in medicine is ultimately aimed at reducing failure.

We spend our entire careers trying to prevent something we can never completely eliminate.

Perhaps that is the paradox of medicine.

And perhaps that relentless pursuit is both the privilege and burden of being a doctor!

Happy Doctors Day!

THE SILENT STRUGGLES

Yesterday, a 44-year-old man living with a weight of 182 kg broke down in tears during the consultation.

He did not cry because he was in any kind of physical pain. He cried because he felt utterly helpless—and scared. He cried because he could no longer breathe easily or walk without difficulty. Breathing and walking are basic, right? He cried because he felt he was failing as a father and as a husband, unable to support his wife and children the way he wanted to.

Every attempt to lose weight had ended in defeat. He felt like he was a burden on everyone. He felt that his life was over.

This is the hidden weight of obesity. It’s the part no one sees.

People living with obesity carry years of silent suffering. They are constantly mocked, judged, and dismissed. They are labelled as lazy, irresponsible, or lacking willpower. They live an entire lifetime with smirks, unsolicited advice, or silent disdain.

And yet what we see in our clinic is that most of them have tried—tried harder than we can imagine.

Here lies the paradox: society expects them to “do something” about their weight but offers little understanding of the disease or support. Instead, it adds layers of #shame, making an already difficult journey even more difficult.

It expects them to fight a complex battle alone and also pins the blame on them at every step of the way.

Obesity is more than a physical condition—it’s a complex and deeply emotional experience. What people with obesity often need is not more advice, but more #empathy.

Sometimes, just being treated with kindness and understanding can lift more weight than any scale ever could.

©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

PS- Image is AI generated

A page from a Doctor’s Diary

LOOKING THROUGH THE HOSPITAL CORRIDORS

Hospitals are places where life unfolds in its truest forms—birth, healing, pain, and sometimes loss. For most of us working in a hospital, our days are fast paced. They are measured in patient rounds, surgeries, emergencies, clinics, meetings, academics, audits and reports. In the middle of all this, it is easy to forget that the people who stand beside us, supporting the system in quiet ways, have their own stories too.

The other day, after finishing a surgery, I happened to overhear one of our support staff members speaking to someone about her married daughter. I was surprised—I had never realized she had a daughter who was already grown up and married. Almost playfully, I asked her if she was soon going to be a grandmother! Her face fell, and with sadness in her voice, she told me that her daughter had recently suffered a miscarriage.

I was taken aback. In that moment, I realized how little we often know about the lives of those who work around us. Even though her thoughts are constantly with her daughter and she grieves quietly, she continues to perform her duties without any fuss. We—the doctors, nurses, and medical teams—are at the forefront. But those who clean the wards, carry supplies, or ensure the smallest of tasks are done, often remain invisible in the system. And yet, they are so important to it—working with dignity while carrying burdens that most of us never see.

That brief exchange was a reminder to me that compassion cannot be limited to patients alone. It has to extend to everyone we encounter in these corridors. Sometimes, all it takes is a pause, a gentle question, or even silent acknowledgment that behind every uniform is a human being with joys, sorrows and unspoken battles.

As carers, we must remember: even carers need care at times. And perhaps the true spirit of healing begins not just in how we treat our patients, but in how we treat each other too.

Down The Memory Lane- My Speaking Journey

©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Last week, my son had one of his first serious #publicspeaking assignments at school. As always, he wanted to set a benchmark for himself. With no siblings for comparison, he turned to my husband and me, eager to hear about our speaking experiences—searching for something to measure himself against.

Just before leaving, he asked me, “How did you do in your first public speaking assignment as a child?”

That simple question took me down the memory lane, almost 40 years back. I remembered that the first time I went up on the stage in front of the whole school- ‘I Froze’! ……..My mother had put in so much effort—dressing me up in a beautiful outfit, making me rehearse my lines over and over—but in that moment my heart started pounding and my throat tightened. I just stood there, wordless and helpless.

Things didn’t change much as I grew older. Speaking never came naturally. Making conversation was an effort always and in my primary years I still remember being labelled as a boring kid who was no fun. Conversations felt like a chore, and it was no surprise that no one was particularly eager to sit next to me because I barely spoke.

Later, when I moved to Mumbai after high school, I wasn’t fluent in spoken English, but that was no trouble for me at all. Silence was always my comfort zone. I was so at ease with silence that for almost six months, I hardly spoke at all.

….But life has a way of pushing us beyond our safe spaces.

In today’s world, no matter what field you choose, public speaking isn’t optional—it’s essential. As a doctor, I have to teach, deliver lectures, present research at conferences, and speak at public awareness programs. And now, in 2025, making an impact also means stepping onto social media and create content—an idea that, for someone like me, has always felt daunting. I’ve always been camera shy and hated being on video.

My first public lecture as a doctor was nothing short of a disaster—riddled with awkward pauses, filled with “hums” and “ho’s”, and very shaky confidence. It fell flat.

But with every speaking opportunity, I improved—little by little, step by step. Today, I can hold my own on stage and pass as a decent speaker at any meeting. I know that there is still plenty of room to grow (just ask my 11-year-old son, who finds my videos painfully boring). He’s my toughest critic, and he doesn’t hold back! But as compared to before, I’ve evolved, and shed many inhibitions behind.

So, what changed?

It didn’t happen overnight. There was no magical transformation. It was a slow, organic process that unfolded over years.

Practice was key. Every opportunity, no matter how small, was a chance to refine, to cut out distractions, and to find my rhythm.

Observing other speakers played a crucial role. I watched them keenly—how they carried themselves, how they engaged their audience, how they used humour and pauses and tone to create impact. Every great speaker had something to teach, and I absorbed those lessons over time.

Expertise and #experience made a difference. When you know your subject inside and out, the words flow more easily.

Confidence took years to build. At first, I had to fake it. Then, I started feeling it. Now, I carry it with me.

But the real turning point was finding my own #Authenticity. The day I stopped trying to sound “perfect” and started embracing my own voice was the day everything changed. It didn’t matter if my voice was too soft or if I wasn’t the most polished speaker in the room. When I spoke from the heart, when I truly believed in what I was saying, people stopped noticing the imperfections. They just listened to what I was saying.

And now, as I watch my son step onto his own path, I know he will have his moments of doubt. He will stumble, just as I did. But I also know this—he will find his voice. He will shape his words. And one day, he will stand tall, speak with conviction, and own his space—just like I learned to do.

Because confidence isn’t about never being afraid. It’s about showing up, speaking up, and allowing yourself to grow- bit by bit- into the person you were meant to be.

Cheers!!

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

By- Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

I am a Mumbai girl and nothing defines Mumbai better than its local trains. Over the last few months, I have gradually shifted to using local trains a lot more than my car, which to be honest is more of a burden than convenience, in this over crowded city. Trains are undoubtedly faster when one has to get to multiple hospitals in a single day. Deep down I also feel happy about indirectly reducing my overall carbon footprint and doing my bit for the future generation.

Local train journeys in Mumbai can be quite entertaining and I have come to enjoy them mostly. (Except for the times when one may get crushed to near death!) Very often there are small time vendors selling their goods to the passengers. On one such day, I observed an old lady who walked with the support of a stick. She was extremely frail and bent over. Her head kept shaking with the slightest of movement. She must be in her eighties nearing ninety for sure. As I saw her boarding the train, I thought of getting up and giving her my seat. However, I was in for a pleasant surprise. As she entered the train compartment, she stabilized herself on her stick and took out a dozen colourful bracelets from a worn out bag to sell to the passengers. Now, I am not very fond of jewellary but that day, I felt compelled to buy that bracelet. I paid ten rupees and kept it in my bag, knowing fully well that I will never wear it.

A few days later, I saw her again. Bent over her stick, with her head shaking all the time, there she was. Once again, I felt compelled to buy one of the bracelets. The third time this happened, I saw a glint of recognition in her eyes and a tiny hint of a smile. As she glanced at my empty wrists, none of us needed to say anything.

It has been 3 months since I saw her last. Every time I am in that train, my eyes look for her. I wonder if she is well, as I have no way of knowing her whereabouts.

However, the bracelet has found its permanent place as it lies in my bag. I am not superstitious but it is my lucky charm. A charm that reminds me that age is just a number and it is always possible to earn a respectable living till our last breath. Every time I open my bag, the shiny bracelet looks up at me and inspires me to go on, to work hard and to live life to its best potential. And one day, when I close my eyes forever, I will lie there peacefully knowing that I gave it my best, always.

#HerStory #inspiration #motivation #draparnagovilbhasker

THE GIRL IN THE HIJAB

“THE GIRL IN THE HIJAB”

By- Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

It was midnight as I stepped out of Mumbai airport. I had had a busy week at work. This was a week that pulled me down in many ways. Certain incidents in the week kept me wondering about the lot of women in our country. How women not only fail to question certain norms, but feel compelled to conform to outdated traditional values even if it comes at a heavey price that they may have to pay.

It was midnight and I desperately wanted to get home at the earliest and get some rest. At the prepaid taxi counter I was informed that I will be getting a “woman driven cab”. As I stepped out to find the cab, I was pleasantly surprised to see this young girl in Jean’s and shirt and a hijab that covered her head. She greeted me with a warm smile and we started our journey together. “Mam, I am not very familiar with the roads of Mumbai, please do guide me”.

At 12.30 am in the night, I was being driven home by a girl in a hijab who was crazy about driving cars and was completely okay with driving around the city alone, in the dark hours of the night without a care. I asked her if her family was okay with her work and she just said that, it didn’t really matter… she just loved to drive.

Normally when I sit in a cab, first thing I do is to ask the cabby to switch off the music. But, yesterday, while I felt emotionally depleted, her energy was infectious and it changed something inside me. I needed a sign to tell me that all is not wrong with this world and there is a lot to be hopeful for. She loved Bollywood music. We kept the music on and chatted along the way. At the end of the journey, I told her that I was proud of her for being so brave and a million dollar smile lit up her face.

It lifted my spirits as I realized that women across the world are breaking barriers one step at a time. The journey is long and the destination very far, but it is heartening to meet such lovely women for whom breaking barriers comes naturally. They make us hope that all is not wrong with the world and it indeed is going to be a better place in future. May their tribe grow.

I guess inspiration is all around us, we just need to open our eyes and hearts to find it.

#HerStory #Priyadarshini #womendrivencabs #wethewomen #womenempowerment #motivation #inspiration #womenofindia