The Unseen Struggles
©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker
“I am continuously trying, but I feel like I’m constantly failing.”
This was the first thing she said when we started talking about her weight issues. She was a 32-year-old working mother of a 16 months old baby girl, struggling with obesity, exhaustion written all over her face. Every day was a battle between juggling work, home, baby and her own well-being.
Her day started early, rushing through chores before heading to work. She worked long hours, returning home only by 9:30 p.m. By then, her little girl—who had been waiting for her all day—wanted all her mother’s time and attention. And how could a mother say no? She played with her, fed her, and held her until she fell asleep. Then came the household tasks—cleaning up, preparing for the next day, squeezing in a few moments of personal time before finally collapsing into bed, usually around 1 a.m. And the cycle repeated, day after day, month after month.
The weight kept piling on. She desperately wanted to prioritize her health. She knew she needed to exercise, eat better, and get proper sleep. But by the end of the day, there would be no time and energy left. She had tried waking up earlier to fit in a workout, but sheer exhaustion made it impossible. She tried to meal prep, but something always got in the way. Life was like an express train without brakes.
As doctors, we often advice our patients to aim for balance—to have a structured schedule, to eat clean, to work out, to prioritize sleep hygiene, to make time for themselves. But in real life, especially for women who are juggling work, home, and motherhood, is balance truly possible? Advice alone is not enough. What women really need is, tangible support—partners who share responsibilities, workplaces that accommodate their realities, families that step in when needed.
She looked at me, eyes filled with frustration and exhaustion. “I know I need to do better. I want to. But I just don’t know how.”
And I had no perfect answer for her. Because the truth is, she wasn’t failing—she was surviving. Every single day, she showed up, doing her best for her child, her work, and her home. In the process she could not do justice to herself. As doctors, we often find ourselves helpless in bridging the gap between the ideal and the reality of lived experiences.
She didn’t need more advice. She needed reassurance. She needed to hear that she was already doing enough and things will eventually get easier and better. That she wasn’t alone. That her worth was not tied to a number on the scale or the hours spent exercising. Because balance isn’t about perfect schedules—it’s about grace. It’s about finding kindness for yourself in the midst of chaos.
As doctors, we must remember that medicine is not only about prescriptions and protocols—it’s about people. We need more compassion, more acceptance, and a deeper understanding of the lives our patients lead. Because sometimes, healing is not just about more advice—it’s simply letting them know they are seen and heard.
She sighed, stood up, and adjusted the bag on her shoulder. “I’ll try again,” she said softly.
And I hoped that, someday, the world would make it easier for women like her.
#WorkingMoms #StrugglesOfMotherhood #ObesityAwareness #MoreThanWillpower #SupportMatters #BalanceIsHard #HealthBeyondAdvice