Posts by Aparna Bhasker

EMPATHY AND OBJECTIVITY- A DELICATE BALANCE

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EMPATHY AND OBJECTIVITY- A DELICATE BALANCE

©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

As doctors, we love evidence-based medicine! Most of us believe in the old adage- “In God we trust. All others must bring data.” We are deeply impacted by impact factors and the graph of our pride rises in direct proportion to the number of times our research papers are cited in the literature. Today, we have journals sprouting by the dozens and thousands of research papers being published every year. We go around the world, brainstorming with colleagues and trying to make sense of these infinite numbers in an attempt to solve the mystery of human health and disease. Though we are always trying to apply the evidence to generate best practices, many times during heated discussions in conferences it all boils down to- “What would you do (WWYD) if this was your wife? WWYD if this was your mother? And saving the best for the last…… drumroll please!!….. WWYD if this was your (you guessed it right!) ….. mother-in-law?”

The biggest irony faced by medical practitioners is that while data guides clinical practice, statistics get severely skewed when viewed from the perspective of the patient and their family. The universally acceptable 0.1% adverse event rate is a one hundred percent catastrophe when the life of a loved one is on the line. Randomized controlled trials (RCT) fall terribly short when we have to break bad news to a patient’s family. Unfortunately, RCTs can’t feel the pain or the disappointment. In real life, numbers are just numbers and they have no feelings. At such times, emotions overrule evidence leading us back to the timeless question- “Doctor, what would you have done if this was your own family member?”

Medicine is probably the only profession with a direct impact on a person’s life and death. An average person would probably make life and death decisions once or twice in their entire life. Some may never have to do it at all. Doctors are professionals who have to make these difficult choices on a daily basis. We have to remain objective while everyone is panicking and remain calm in the midst of chaos. We have to keep our head on our shoulders and our heart tucked a little away. We are bound by oath to take risks on behalf of others. Well, we all know that taking a risk is a risky affair and things can go either way. We have the impolite job of being realistic and setting the expectations right. Sometimes we have to say things that people may not wish to hear. And sometimes when we say things, people may choose not to hear. At the end of the day, we have the challenging task of keeping hope alive too, for hope can be a stronger potion than any medicine in the world.

Striking a balance between objectivity and empathy is like navigating a ship through turbulent seas. If either side is lost or if there’s an excess of one, it could tip the balance and sink the ship. Published literature, studies, trials, data and numbers can at best guide clinical practice to some extent. However, rattling off numbers can never provide solace to a suffering family. The practice of medicine is beyond that and the healing potion must contain the right dose of empathy to be effective.

Some of us can overdose on empathy too. Excessive emotional involvement in every patient’s case can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue. Overwhelming empathy can be quite exhausting and we need some degree of professional detachment and objectivity to navigate the medical maze effectively. This brings me back to the WWYD question. Throughout my career, I’ve been taught to treat patients as I would my own family. While we hold our loved ones dear, treating every patient as kin would lead to an emotional roller coaster. Trust me, it’s not good for any of the stake holders.

The journey of a doctor is a delicate balance between objectivity and empathy. We begin our careers armed with a solid foundation in evidence-based medicine and data-driven practices. With experience, we come to appreciate the necessity of complimenting these with empathy and a profound understanding of the humane aspect of healthcare.

When science marries compassion, the journey of healing begins. Those who find this equilibrium our blessed and experience immense gratification and fulfilment in their professional lives. For others, it remains a work in progress. It’s challenging, yet attainable. It’s not easy, yet possible. It is a continuous journey of growth and learning, shaping us into better healers every day.

Embracing Authenticity: A Surgeon’s Journey Beyond Conformity

Beyond Conformity Blog
Embracing Authenticity A Surgeon's Journey Beyond Conformity

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

The field of surgery has long been associated with images of masculinity – the stereotypical strong, authoritative and dominating figure giving orders in the operating room. These perceptions, however, fail to capture the true essence of surgical prowess and the diverse skill set that contributes to success in the field. In reality, effective surgical practice encompasses a range of qualities, including precision, empathy, kindness, collaboration, adaptability and maintaining equanimity during surgery.

I embarked on my surgical journey 21 years ago as the lone woman in a department dominated by men. Not much has changed in the last two decades. Whether it is at the hospital or at a surgical conference, number of women surgeons can still be counted on fingertips.

When I first entered the field of surgery, the prevalent male culture around me felt rather intimidating. Those days there were no support networks and hardly any female mentors to look up to. The prospect of potential professional and social isolation, coupled with the fear of being underestimated, fuelled my determination to meticulously refine my foundational skills in laparoscopic and bariatric surgery. I worked really hard through those years and today, I take pride in being acknowledged among highly skilled surgeons. Yet, the realization dawned that sheer technical proficiency does not always equate to success. In the realm of professional success, factors extending beyond technical expertise assume a crucial role. Many individuals consciously craft an image or aura around themselves, projecting a specific persona aligned with perceived notions of success.

I quickly realized that attempting to adopt a borrowed male aura for success was not only impractical but also counterproductive for me. Authenticity emerged as a fundamental principle in my professional life. I needed to remain true to myself. Success, I discovered, wasn’t about conforming to preconceived notions or adopting a facade. Instead, it was about embracing and refining my own unique strengths and qualities.

In this realization, I found the freedom to cultivate a professional identity that resonated with my authentic self. It allowed me to leverage my inherent skills, communicate with sincerity, and project a genuine image that reflected not societal expectations, but my own values and capabilities. By embracing authenticity, I discovered a more fulfilling and sustainable path to success, one that didn’t require the compromise of my true identity.

Gradually, I began to forge my own path. Infusing a feminine touch and cultivating a culture of care in every aspect of my work became my signature. I wasn’t concerned about being a woman in what is traditionally considered a man’s world. While I learned valuable lessons from my male colleagues, particularly in assertiveness and financial literacy, I realized that success didn’t necessitate adopting a masculine persona. Success, I discovered, hinges on core skills and authenticity, coupled with a touch of luck.

Authenticity, an often-underestimated asset, becomes paramount in our pursuit of professional and personal success. Embracing and staying true to oneself, despite the existing gender dynamics, is not only empowering but a key component. As women surgeons, it is essential to bring one’s unique qualities, perspectives, and approaches to the forefront, challenging the preconceived notions of what a surgeon should be. As more and more women break through the barriers of tradition, they must realize that femininity need not be sacrificed for success in the operating room or in life.

BEYOND THE SCALPEL: FACING THE MIRROR IN SURGICAL LEARNINGS

Beyond the scalpel Blog

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

As a medical professional, I interact with numerous individuals on a daily basis. While their primary reason for visiting me is related to medical or surgical concerns, I consider it a privilege to gain a brief insight into their lives during the limited time they spend with me.

Yesterday, I met Aisha (name changed), a 35-year-old woman seeking treatment for a ventral hernia. Engaging in conversations with my patients is a practice I deeply value, a habit instilled in me by my professor during my postgraduate years. He always emphasized that a simple conversation could unveil many a hidden diagnosis. This approach has become an enduring part of my practice, and I find great satisfaction in these conversations with my patients, gaining a deeper understanding not only of their disease but also of their life-stories.

During my conversation with Aisha, I discovered that she was a mother of seven children. The revelation took me by surprise when she shared that her last pregnancy resulted in quintuplets. Initially expecting a third child, they were unexpectedly blessed with five at once. Consequently, her family now includes an 11-year-old daughter, a 7-year-old son, and five 3-year-old daughters. The idea of having five three-year-old, little girls together is heartwarming but daunting at the same time. Raising a single child is demanding enough, so I can only imagine the immense challenges of raising five toddlers simultaneously. I presumed that Aisha’s primary focus must be on caring for her children, leaving little time for her own well-being. My concern deepened as I contemplated her post-operative period, wondering if she would have sufficient time to rest and recover.

Approaching the end of our consultation, Aisha caught me offguard with a question that stumped me. She wanted to know the duration of leave she would need from “work”. I had assumed that, with the responsibility of caring for her numerous young children, she must be a stay-at-home mother. Contrary to my well-intentioned assumptions, I discovered that Aisha was not only a devoted mother but also a highly accomplished professional in the finance industry in her country. I found myself not only surprised by Aisha’s profound passion for her profession but at the same time, was taken aback by the level of judgement and assumptions I had unconsciously made about another woman.

As I write this article, it has been almost 24 hours since I met Aisha. Throughout the hustle and bustle of yesterday, Aisha has continued to stay in my thoughts As, a lady surgeon, I have myself faced similar biases at different points in my life and career, and have actively worked to resist them. Yet, here I was, grappling with the same shortcomings that I have criticized the society for at times.

This incident served as an illustration of the profound nature of our own implicit biases. Despite being a woman and a working professional, I came to the realization that I, too, had fallen prey to the same biases and passive gender roles embedded in our society. Unfortunately, these biases are further perpetuated due to influences from media, political and legal systems, religious institutions, workplaces, and family networks. The cycle is completed when, unconsciously, even so-called empowered women like myself become victims of the same biases that confine us.

I spent the morning delving deeper into this issue and reading more about it. To my dismay, I realized that my experience was not unique. According to a study, around 75 percent of individuals tend to associate terms like business, profession, and work with “men,” while connecting terms like family, household, and caregiving with “women.” Recently, the Gender Social Norms Index discovered that 90% of individuals across all genders exhibit a bias against women, a statistic that worryingly remains unchanged from data collected over a decade ago. Notably, these biases pose significant obstacles for women in the realms of politics, business, and the workplace, resulting in the erosion of their rights and instances of human rights violations.

What’s even more worrying is that as the use of artificial intelligence becomes more widespread, it could reinforce these biases. AI language models draw extensively from existing publications, leading to the replication and amplification of prevailing gender biases. As Sasha Luccioni, a Research Scientist and Climate Lead at the machine learning company Hugging Face, aptly pointed out, “AI bias doesn’t emerge from thin air; it originates from the patterns we perpetuate in our societies.” Unfortunately, our societies are still struggling with the formidable challenge of attaining gender equality and remain far from its realization.

As for me, I recognized the importance of challenging my own biases and learning from the diverse experiences of my patients. The encounter with Aisha has prompted me to reassess my biases and adopt a more inclusive and empathetic perspective. Inspired by Aisha’s resilience, I am committed to advocating for a more woman-centric approach in my medical practice. I hope to explore more about the unique needs of my female patients, offering not only medical care but also a supportive environment for open discussions about their challenges and aspirations. Recognizing that personal biases are an ongoing challenge, even for a working professional woman like me, I hope to overcome them and establish a medical practice that is more inclusive and understanding.

PS: Image courtesy Bing AI

“WHAT NEXT” in 2024

New Year
"WHAT NEXT" in 2024

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Last year marked the grand celebration of our 25th batch reunion. It was a wonderful event that brought us all together once again. As we embraced each other after decades, the camaraderie was palpable. Late-night heart-to-heart conversations made us feel as if the years had never passed. Our laughter echoed, filled with shared moments, and in those moments, it felt like time had forgotten to leave its mark.

All of us had done fairly well in life. 25 years ago, we had cracked the rigorous medical entrance examination, navigated the long years of medical education, pursued post-graduation in our chosen fields, started families, established clinics and hospitals, authored papers, participated in conferences, and achieved professional and financial success. Our journey had brought us all to a point in life where we now enjoyed a respectable status in society. However, amidst the laughter and shared memories, a lingering question echoed in the minds of many – “What next?”

What next? Is a question that I have also been thinking about for quite some time now. As doctors, we are hardwired to continually seek purpose and engagement. Our lives are a relentless pursuit of knowledge and service – whether we are within the walls of a hospital or in the midst of conferences and webinars (thankfully reduced post-COVID). The paradox of our profession lies in its insatiable demands. We are accustomed to perpetual motion – a constant cycle of learning, practicing, and contributing and going back to learning. As the years pass by, the landscape of possibilities and opportunities continues to increase multi fold. Balancing the fear of spreading oneself too thin with the fear of missing out can be daunting. The challenge lies in navigating these choices and making decisions that resonate with our true priorities.

As we stand at this juncture, I guess it’s essential to acknowledge that “what next” is a very pertinent question. It is not a sign of stagnation but an invitation for exploration. It’s an opportunity to rediscover ourselves beyond the realms of clinical practice and professional achievements. There are times when we must intentionally step out of the relentless rat race, take a moment to retreat, and clear the clutter from our lives……. to make space for the unknown. It’s in the tranquillity of these moments that we can truly reflect on the genuine purpose for the next part of our lives.

The next chapter may or may not be defined by traditional markers of success; instead, it could be a journey inward, a pursuit of personal fulfilment. It could also be a commitment to passions beyond the scope of medicine.

I acknowledge that the “what next” might not unfold overnight, but I am guessing that the process of self-discovery may be a journey well worth taking.

So, here’s to the next chapter – a new year with a blank canvas ready for the reflections, aspirations, and the colours of our passions. As we set sail through 2024, let’s take a moment to pause and carve out space for new pursuits. Cheers to embracing the unknown and making the most of the vibrant palette that the new year offers!

#happynewyear2024

A PAGE FROM A DOCTORS’ DIARY

Blog Weight Beyond Weight
Unseen Struggles: The Weight Beyond Weight

Unseen Struggles: The Weight Beyond Weight

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

This is the story of Shruti and Raj (names changed). A touching journey of profound emotions woven through an array of love, loss and unyielding hope amidst a backdrop of deepset societal prejudices and biases.

As a young couple, their quest to start a family was laden with challenges. The initial elation of finally conceiving a pair of twins through IVF, was swiftly eclipsed by the cruel hand of fate. Losing one of the twins in the early months of conception left them reeling with grief. Despite the heartache, they clung onto the flickering hope for their remaining baby, channelling every bit of love and determination towards nurturing that fragile life.

In a heart-wrenching twist of destiny, just days before the expected delivery, their journey took yet another unexpected turn. They were shattered when the second baby’s heartbeat stopped in the womb and they faced loss once again. Their world was engulfed by the painful reality of losing both babies, leaving them immersed in profound grief.

The year was 2020 and amidst their ordeal, the world was overtaken by the chaos of the Covid-19 pandemic. Shruti, already battling with the weight of grief, found herself grappling with a severe bout of Covid. Once again, she was admitted for weeks in the hospital. Treatment with steroids saved her life but the side effects brought unwanted #weightgain. The pandemic restrictions further isolated her, eliminating avenues for physical activity and exacerbating her struggles emotionally as well as physically. A few months passed by.

As if her already overwhelming trials weren’t enough, one year later, she started experiencing an excruciating pain in the left hip joint. She was diagnosed with avascular necrosis of the hip, a consequence of the steroids that she required during treatment for Covid. At a young age of 28, she faced the daunting reality of needing a hip replacement, an unforeseen challenge that added to her physical limitations and struggles. Each step became a battle and every movement a painful reminder of her body’s limitations. Coupled with her restricted mobility, it became an additional factor contributing to her weight gain.

Shruti’s struggles with her health issues weren’t merely confined to their physical toll. The most profound blow stemmed from the absence of understanding and empathy from those around her. Society’s unforgiving lens fixated solely on her outward appearance, remaining oblivious to the turmoil raging beneath the surface. Instead of offering empathy or a listening ear, they chose the path of blame—an unjust attribution of her weight gain to her actions, without acknowledging the intricate complexities she struggled with.

The understanding of #obesity needs to extend far beyond superficial judgements. Beyond the visual appearance lie many emotional and physical struggles that shape an individual’s journey with weight gain. While it’s easy to cast aspersions, true understanding requires a deeper connection, an effort to empathize with the multifaceted challenges faced by individuals. Sadly, in today’s world, obesity stands amongst the most stigmatized conditions, frequently greeted with a glaring lack of empathy. Instead of kindness, those affected often confront sneers, harsh judgments, and biased attitudes, exacerbating their already uphill battles.

Amid this tumult, Raj remains an unwavering source of support for Shruti. His love and belief in her never falter as he tirelessly advocates for her well-being and offers unwavering support.

Shruti’s yearning for a family and a life liberated from judgement remains resolute. Her dream transcends mere physical weight loss. It encompasses liberation from the confines of societal judgement and misconceptions. What she longs for is a world where her narrative finds resonance, where her trials are met not with disdain but with empathy, understanding, and heartfelt compassion.

In this world, as we all traverse our individual tests and trials the weight of these burdens tends to feel less heavy when we encounter understanding, empathy, and genuine compassion from others. Individuals dealing with obesity often face the unfortunate reality of not being truly heard or seen beyond their outward appearance. It’s important for society to listen to and truly see individuals dealing with obesity. Acknowledging their experiences and understanding the multifaceted nature of their struggles can pave the way for a more supportive and compassionate approach towards addressing this condition.

OPERATING ON THE EDGE- THE UNSEEN JOURNEY OF SURGEONS

JOURNEY OF SURGEONS
OPERATING ON THE EDGE- THE UNSEEN JOURNEY OF SURGEONS

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

It was the last case on the list on that day. A very routine laparoscopic fundoplication that took an unexpected turn. In a fateful moment, a short gastric vessel ruptured, with torrential bleeding across the surgical field. Suddenly, all I could see on the screen was a bright red splash of colour obscuring everything else. A surge of panic coursed through me, and I could distinctly feel the rapid, intense pounding of my heart. My mind raced faster than my heartbeat – what if the bleeding couldn’t be stemmed, if the procedure needed conversion to an open surgery, if a splenectomy was necessary or worse, if things went south? And even though potential complications are always explained prior to surgery and consents are duly signed, in that intense moment, I felt intensely weighed down by the prospects of having to justify something like this to the patient and the family later.

Within a heartbeat, I regained composure, drawing strength from years of rigorous training and experience, and perhaps a touch of divine intervention. It felt like a battle I couldn’t afford to lose—a target that could not be missed. Complete focus became paramount, as every passing moment would reduce my chances of winning. In that fleeting instant, with unwavering determination, I seized control over the bleeding, witnessing the haemorrhage stop as abruptly as it had started. The field was clear once again. I heaved a big sigh of relief, went on to complete the surgery with my team and later everything was fine. The patient, unaware of the precarious precipice they skirted, recovered and was discharged, the episode fading into a memory of a successful surgery.

HOWEVER, BEHIND THE SCENES, WAS EVERYTHING REALLY FINE? 

A surgeon’s silent struggle with the aftermath of such high-stress surgical moments is not much talked about. There exists an unspoken burden, an emotional fallout, that surgeons carry post-operation, which is unacknowledged by most.

As surgeons, we undergo rigorous training, assuming that alongside our surgical skills, we are equipped mentally to navigate these critical junctures. Yet, reality often diverges from this assumption. 

The weight of a patient’s life rests squarely on our shoulders, and when confronted with such intense scenarios, the physical, mental and emotional turmoil can be overwhelming.

Despite effectively managing the crisis, the haunting realization of what might have transpired, lingered for days in my mind. Although the entire episode during the surgery had lasted for just about 15 seconds or so, for many days, I experienced physical manifestations of stress – low energy levels, mild anxiety, throbbing headaches, neck spasms, and debilitating fatigue. It is not uncommon for doctors/surgeons to experience symptoms of acute gastritis, insomnia, spondylitis, diarrhoea and sometimes even menstrual irregularities as an aftermath of stress. 

As surgeons, we routinely navigate through high-intensity stress scenarios. The serene and composed atmosphere of the surgical field can transform into a battleground at any given moment. While our profession doesn’t grant medals for bravery, failure is simply not an acceptable option. This consistent and prolonged exposure to high-pressure scenarios spanning through a long surgical career, fosters chronic stress, which can further manifest physically as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and other health issues. Additionally, it can exact an emotional and mental toll, potentially leading to various forms of depression. Higher suicide rates amongst doctors have remained a concern for quite some time now.

Reflecting on my own experience, this particular incident wasn’t the first of its kind in my clinical practice. Like many surgeons, such moments have become a familiar part of my daily life, too. We often internalize these experiences, deliberately understating their significance, avoiding extensive discussions or acknowledgment. What transpires within the operation theatre typically stays confined within those sterile walls. Over time, it’s almost as if we build walls around ourselves, inhibiting our willingness to share and communicate. 

Many of us in the surgical field, myself included, pride ourselves on our ability to swiftly forge ahead. The rationale being that immersing ourselves quickly back into work, aids in overcoming these thoughts and emotions, contributing to our resilience. However, this culture of resilience prevalent within the medical community, though admirable, often comes at a price. Surgeons are left to grapple with their emotions in solitary introspection, navigating uncharted emotional territories without the necessary guidance or support systems in place.

THE NEED FOR SOLUTIONS IS URGENT.

Firstly, acknowledging the impact of professional stress and the emotional burden that surgeons carry is essential. It involves recognizing that these experiences can have significant effects on mental and physical health, as well as on overall well-being.

Acceptance comes in understanding that it’s okay to take a step back and prioritize self-care. Many healthcare professionals often push themselves relentlessly, believing that taking a break or seeking support is a sign of weakness or may negatively impact their ability to care for their patients. However, this mindset needs to shift.

Being kinder to oneself means recognizing personal limits and the importance of self-compassion. Allowing time for rest, recuperation, and seeking support isn’t a sign of inadequacy but rather a necessary step towards maintaining mental health. A rested and emotionally balanced healthcare provider can potentially offer better care to their patients.

Taking breaks, seeking support networks, and practicing self-care can potentially enhance a surgeon’s mental clarity, emotional resilience, and overall effectiveness in their profession. It’s vital to understand that caring for oneself doesn’t compromise the quality of care provided to patients; in fact, it can enhance it.

A systemic shift in the medical culture is imperative. Encouraging a healthy work-life balance, emphasizing the importance of self-care, and destigmatizing seeking help for mental health challenges should be prioritized.

As surgeons, we are entrusted with the profound responsibility of preserving lives, a duty we hold with utmost reverence. However, it’s equally vital to recognize that safeguarding our mental and physical well-being is pivotal for providing optimal patient care. It’s time to acknowledge the unspoken toll on surgeons and pave the way for a healthier, more supportive environment within the medical community.

THE CRICKET WORLD CUP- BEYOND THE FRENZY

BEYOND THE FRENZY
THE CRICKET WORLD CUP- BEYOND THE FRENZY

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker, Mumbai, India

The recent Cricket World Cup that concluded day before yesterday was an exhilarating spectacle, captivating fans worldwide. As we navigate the mixed emotions following our defeat, there’s been a thought lingering in my mind— more of a reflection that’s stayed with me throughout the entire World Cup.

It’s time to shed some light on it.

India is a cricket crazy nation. We eat, live and breathe cricket. It doesn’t matter whether we are 7 years old or seventy. Cricket rules our emotions and unites us like no other sport in this world. With millions glued to the televisions and mobile phones, many viewership records were broken during this world cup. No wonder that it presented an immense opportunity for advertising. Many brands were riding high on this cricket frenzy and mania. Among these, a concerning trend emerged – advertisements adeptly masking tobacco promotion behind the veil of seemingly innocuous products.

According to a survey performed in 2016-17, 21.38% people in India use smokeless tobacco and 10.38% use smoking tobacco. Adverse health effects of tobacco in any form are devastating. Tobacco smoking causes almost every type of cancer in the human body and leads to significant increase in cardio-vascular events like heart attacks. India has one of the highest rates of oral cancers in the world and chewing tobacco is responsible for almost 50% of these cases. (Remember those gory oral cancer pictures in movie theatres just before the movie starts!). Tobacco single-handedly leads to more than eight million deaths annually worldwide and accounts for almost 10% deaths in India. It kills more people than tuberculosis, HIV and malaria put together. To make matters worse, deaddiction from tobacco is extremely difficult.

Coming back to the World Cup, viewers were bombarded with a continuous stream of ads after every single over. Amidst the mounting tension, whether in anticipation of a boundary or a wicket, based on our team’s position, we endured the repetitive onslaught of these commercials. These ads featured some very famous movie and sports personalities endorsing products that appeared to promote something other than tobacco. Though not explicitly advertising tobacco, they cleverly alluded to products often linked or used as an alternative to tobacco. This crafty advertising tactic sidesteps regulations against direct tobacco promotion. The involvement of influential personalities, including movie and sports idols and celebrities, amplifies the impact of these misleading campaigns.

What’s disconcerting is the lack of responsibility displayed by everyone involved. Shouldn’t public figures reconsider endorsing products that indirectly promote habits detrimental to public health, particularly amidst the country’s struggle against increasing cases of cancer and tobacco-related illnesses? Contending that these endorsements exclusively concern products other than tobacco doesn’t absolve celebrities, brands, TV channels, or agencies from considering broader implications.

It’s time for our stars and influential personalities to prioritize their roles as societal influencers over monetary gains. They hold significant power to shape public opinion and behaviours and bear the responsibility of promoting a healthier, more responsible society. 2 years back, Christiano Ronaldo created headlines for the right reasons when he had replaced a bottle of an aerated cold drink with a bottle of water during a press conference. More power comes with more responsibility and don’t our beloved stars owe this much to us?

As doctors we see the other side of the spectrum on a daily basis. Hospitals are not stadiums full of an excited and energetic crowd, nor are they the make-believe world of the movies. We see a lot of suffering, we see people with disfigured faces, we see people who cannot swallow a single morsel of food due to a cancer roaring in the food pipe. We see people who have lost their voices and we see people whose disease is so far advanced that we cannot help them despite our best efforts. We see young children getting orphaned and entire families getting destroyed.

It’s crucial to recognize the veiled implications within these commercials and advocate for higher ethical benchmarks in endorsements, particularly concerning health risks. This highlights the urgency for increased personal responsibility and ethical consciousness among public figures, TV channels and brands. Let this echo as a compelling plea for increased mindfulness, ethical integrity, and personal accountability. At the end of the day, regulations and laws often contain loopholes, but personal responsibility stands higher and is devoid of such gaps.

Is this too much to ask for?

THE JOY BAG

THE JOY BAG
THE JOY BAG

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

A few days back, I took an old recycled cloth bag and threw in some coloring pens, a sketching pad, a pencil, an eraser, headphones, and a book that I am reading presently. Just out of a whim, I called this ensemble of simple delights as my “joy bag”. 

Since then, the joy bag became my unwavering companion, journeying with me through the kaleidoscope of my daily life. It accompanied me to the hospital, sat beside me through the long hours in the clinic, attended parent teachers meeting with me, came with me to my son’s tennis classes and sometimes even to the local market. It felt like I suddenly rediscovered a long-lost friend. 

My joy bag turned out to be that steadfast companion who loved me unconditionally, harbouring no expectations or demands. It never once pressured me to perform or deliver; instead, it waited patiently for my attention, even during the busiest days. It never complained, never judged. It was a source of pure, unadulterated happiness………….. and “joy”!

As I delved into the mystical realms of creativity, my joy bag became my enabler. Suddenly, the insufferable hours I once dreaded during road travel in this bustling city of Mumbai, held no terror. I no longer minded the occasional delays in the operating theatre. Impatience ceased to grip me when patients arrived a little later than scheduled. In fact, I confess that I sometimes welcomed these deviations, as they gave me some time for myself. I was more than happy to get back to reading the page that I hadn’t been able to complete or attempt to draw a figurine on my sketch pad. Creativity was now at my fingertips, and it brought transcendental joy that extended far beyond myself. It transformed me into a better version of who I was.

All of us live our lives in the pursuit of joy and somehow it is always out of reach. We are brought up to work hard, to achieve great heights in our careers, to constantly keep climbing the ladder and keep going even when we become breathless and tired. While this journey is satisfying and fulfilling to some extent, it can, at times, strip away the joy from our lives.  

In trying to achieve the difficult, we tend to forget the simple. 

“Joy” comes from simple things. 

Things that can fit into an old, small, recycled bag. 

My 10 years old son followed my footsteps (he has to do everything I do) and fished out another old cloth bag and created his own joy bag. 

So, what are you waiting for? Go make your own “joy bag”. After all, we only get to live once. Let us live joyfully!

#creativity #joy #joybag

लकीरें

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आज आईने में मैंने अपना चेहरा देखा; तो नज़र आई कुछ लकीरें……

कुछ लकीरों में चमकने लगी थी सफेदी, कुछ में हो रहा था थोड़ा सा दर्द,

कुछ लकीरें खिंच गईं थीं दिलो–जान पर, कुछ आ गई थीं रिश्तों के बीच,

कुछ मिट रही थी, कुछ नई बन रही थी,

कुछ थी ऐसी, जो किसी को नज़र नहीं आ रही थी,

और कुछ ऐसी, जो चाह के भी, छुप नहीं पा रही थी.

आज आईने में मैंने अपना चेहरा देखा; तो नज़र आयें कुछ लकीरें…..

समझ नहीं पा रहे थे की; हम इनको कैसे करें कम, कशमकश में और डूबते जा रहे थे हम,

फ़िर एक दोस्त ने समझाया की, ये लकीरें ही ज़िन्दगी हैं,

ये लकीरें हम में हैं, और इन लकीरों में हैं हम.

समय के साथ सीखा हमने; लकीरों पे करना ऐतबार,

लकीरों की ख़ूबसूरती जो समझ ली हमने, जिंदगी का मजा ही हुआ कुछ और.

अब लकीरें कितनी भी हो टेढ़ी; चेहरे पे नहीं दिखती,

जो दिखती है कभी चेहरे पर, वो आती है बन के मुस्कुराहट,

और कहती हैं लकीरों से, कि हमसे हो तुम, और तुमसे हैं हम,

करते हैं मिलके मजा, क्यूंकि यही है जिंदगी की रजा.

आज जब फिर एक बार आईने में  मैंने अपना चेहरा देखा; तो नज़र ना आई कोई लकीरें…..

Be independent and free from within!

Happy Independence Day!

A Dramedy Of Errors!

Blog
Dramedy

©️ Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker  

This morning, I had to fly to Ahmedabad for a conference (#YoungHSICON). Last night, the Prince of Wales intrigued me so much that I couldn’t stop bingeing on the period drama that I was watching on Netflix. Even after 75 years of independence, the crown still succeeds in evoking that uncomparable feeling of awe and has the potential to lead to a sleepless night.

Finally, when I slept, it was way beyond my usual sleeping time. I was having an elaborate dream about Buckingham palace when the alarm started blaring in the wee hours of the morning, and I woke up with a start! As expected, waking up so early was a terrible ordeal. I cursed myself for not having enough discipline and plodded myself out of bed at half my usual pace and then in a painstaking effort to stay awake, I spent double the time sipping on my tea (English Breakfast, ofcourse!).

My husband, who is an epitome of self-discipline, kept chiding me for staying up late and then dragging my feet through the morning. He was worried that I was going to miss the flight. To be honest, I was running quite late but somehow managed to get into a cab and crossed my fingers, hoping to reach the airport on time. Fortunately, early mornings in Mumbai on a Saturday are quite forgiving when it comes to traffic. The roads were empty, and I made it to the airport on time. I wasted no time in sending a message to my husband that I was “on time”! (A very loving wifely gesture, trying to prove a point!)

I finally relaxed and stood in the queue to enter the airport. The queue moved ahead quite fast, and in no time, I was at the gate with my ID proof and boarding pass ready. I smiled at the security guard, and she smiled back at me. Then, she looked at my boarding pass and looked up. The smile had disappeared from her face, and suddenly, my heart skipped a beat. In my absent-mindedness, I am perfectly capable of carrying my husband’s ID proof instead of mine! I was sure she thought of me as an imposter.

“You are at the wrong terminal!”

I looked at her, then I looked again at my boarding pass and finally looked at my watch! In my Netflix stupor, I had come to the wrong terminal. The other terminal was 5 km away. Panic rose up in my throat. Not because I could potentially miss my flight, but how would I go back home and face my husband!

I came out running with my bag in tow. Luckily for me, a couple of cabs were waiting outside. The cabby quoted an insanely high fare, which I readily agreed to, as I had no time or energy to negotiate.

Just then, two airport supervisors appeared out of nowhere. Apparently, I was not the first person in the city of Mumbai to land up in the wrong terminal. They reprimanded the cabby for trying to take advantage of my predicament and suggested that I take another cab who would charge more reasonably. For me, money didn’t matter, but I was grateful for their concern at a time of distress. I took the cab they suggested and tried to hand out a tip to them as a gesture of thankfulness. They graciously refused to accept any money from me and saw me off.

En route to the other terminal, I kept thinking. Nowadays, it is rare for someone to show concern for others. It is also hard for us to accept the selfless concern of a stranger. There is an implied expectation of a reward for any good deed. I found it difficult to accept that they helped me just out of concern, without any expectations for a reward. It was just a good deed, human to human. As plain as that.

While I was lost in my thoughts, the cabby almost flew the car, and it took us exactly 10 minutes to reach the other terminal. Much to my displeasure, he demanded 1.5 times the money that we had agreed upon. I had no choice but to pay, as I had no time to indulge in a squabble.

In a single morning, within a span of ten minutes, on one hand, I experienced selfless human concern, and on the other hand, there were people who without an iota of doubt were ready to take undue advantage of a vulnerable situation.

There are all kinds of people in this world. Sometimes, we receive support from unknown quarters. It pleasantly surprises us and reinforces our faith in people. At other times, we feel cheated by others, and it can lead to varying degrees of dejection. We can not avoid the cycle of good and bad, but we can always choose to care more for the good over the bad. Every person has an impact on our life. It can be big or small. I could have spoiled my morning, fretting over the behavior of the cabbies. But today, I chose to focus on the kindness of airport supervisors over the cunningness of the cabbies. It made me feel better in an already rushed morning.

Yes, the cabby did succeed in making a little more money, but at the end of the day, it was the airport supervisors who made an impression on me and earned my respect. Also, I do believe that every time a good deed is done, it sets the foundation for the next one somewhere in the universe and helps to keep the balance intact.

PS: This time, I messaged my husband after completing the check-in process. I need to start paying more heed to his advice. But then, if husbands and wives always lived in tandem and heeded to each other, what would become of the drama in life! 😉

And yes, I did make it to the conference.

The Gift Of Life

Bariatric Surgery
The gift of life

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Samarth (name changed) had called my team at least a dozen times over two days, seeking an urgent appointment for a consultation for weight loss. He wanted to lose weight in a very short span of time. As is common understanding, usually there is nothing “urgent” about weight loss. People gain weight over many years and are usually in sync with the idea that weight loss will be a time-consuming process with any modality, be it diet and exercise, medications, or even bariatric surgery.

As a team, we are a bit wary of people who are looking for instant solutions. When it comes to treating obesity, we believe in setting realistic goals. If the expectation is not set right, the journey invariably ends in disappointment. Hence, when I was informed about this patient, I was sceptical.

Samarth was the eldest of three siblings. Two years back, his mother was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, which had now progressed to liver failure. She needed a liver transplant urgently in order to survive.

For the last couple of years, the recurring monthly expenditure on her care and medications was over a lakh of rupees. Health insurance covered the expenses only partially. For any middle-class family, this is a huge amount. It is enough to set anyone back financially for a few years, to say the least. Samarth was working two jobs to cope up with the monthly expense and to save money for the liver transplant. Not only was he saving money, but he was also the potential live liver donor for his mother. He was supporting his mother emotionally, medically, financially and was willing to go to any length to save her life.

Unfortunately, he was overweight and could not qualify as a donor until he lost weight. Working two jobs had taken its toll on his health over the years. He had no time for himself. He was stuck in a vicious cycle where he couldn’t take time off due to his financial responsibilities, and until he took some time out, he wouldn’t be able to sort his own weight related issues. But now, it was a race against time, and he had to get into shape really fast. On asking about the other two siblings, he simply said that they were not interested in the mother’s care. The attitude of the rest of the family didn’t matter to him. He was willing to move the earth for his mother and wanted to do everything within his power. He was ready to part with a piece of himself to give his mother the gift of life.

I had started this consultation with a bit of scepticism. However, over the years, I have realized that everyone deserves a benefit of doubt. As a doctor, I feel that the greatest gift that we can give to a patient is not just a solution to the problem but a “patient hearing”. More often than not, we discover a hidden story that was waiting to be heard. His desperation was justified, and there couldn’t have been a better reason for seeking help.

Samarth has started his weight loss journey, and only time will tell if he will win this race against time to be able to become a live donor for his mother.

But yet again, in my journey as a doctor, I have met a human being who has reinforced my belief in humanity. We hear negative stories every day, but these stories of my patients make me feel that all is well with the world. Such profound acts of love, kindness and sacrifice are rare but enough to outweigh many ills that scourge the society of today. We don’t get to hear them or read about them often. However, these are extraordinary stories of ordinary people, and I feel privileged to narrate them. I do believe that someone somewhere may be in the same boat as Samarth and may derive inspiration from his incredible journey.

May such souls be blessed with more power.