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Joy is already here

Joy is already here

This evening, I checked out of a hotel after attending a conference. The check-out counter was super-crowded and the hotel staff looked totally overwhelmed with the sudden rush. Despite their immaculate make up and perfectly draped saris, they looked harrowed and tense. With a frown 

The More Things Change, The More They Remain The Same

The More Things Change, The More They Remain The Same

Soon after we finished the question and answer session in a CME, a doctor came up to me and had a short conversation about weight loss medications. Then he asked me, “Madam, are you a dietitian?” I glanced at my colleague, a brilliant surgeon in 

Down The Memory Lane- My Speaking Journey

Down The Memory Lane- My Speaking Journey

©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Last week, my son had one of his first serious #publicspeaking assignments at school. As always, he wanted to set a benchmark for himself. With no siblings for comparison, he turned to my husband and me, eager to hear about our speaking experiences—searching for something to measure himself against.

Just before leaving, he asked me, “How did you do in your first public speaking assignment as a child?”

That simple question took me down the memory lane, almost 40 years back. I remembered that the first time I went up on the stage in front of the whole school- ‘I Froze’! ……..My mother had put in so much effort—dressing me up in a beautiful outfit, making me rehearse my lines over and over—but in that moment my heart started pounding and my throat tightened. I just stood there, wordless and helpless.

Things didn’t change much as I grew older. Speaking never came naturally. Making conversation was an effort always and in my primary years I still remember being labelled as a boring kid who was no fun. Conversations felt like a chore, and it was no surprise that no one was particularly eager to sit next to me because I barely spoke.

Later, when I moved to Mumbai after high school, I wasn’t fluent in spoken English, but that was no trouble for me at all. Silence was always my comfort zone. I was so at ease with silence that for almost six months, I hardly spoke at all.

….But life has a way of pushing us beyond our safe spaces.

In today’s world, no matter what field you choose, public speaking isn’t optional—it’s essential. As a doctor, I have to teach, deliver lectures, present research at conferences, and speak at public awareness programs. And now, in 2025, making an impact also means stepping onto social media and create content—an idea that, for someone like me, has always felt daunting. I’ve always been camera shy and hated being on video.

My first public lecture as a doctor was nothing short of a disaster—riddled with awkward pauses, filled with “hums” and “ho’s”, and very shaky confidence. It fell flat.

But with every speaking opportunity, I improved—little by little, step by step. Today, I can hold my own on stage and pass as a decent speaker at any meeting. I know that there is still plenty of room to grow (just ask my 11-year-old son, who finds my videos painfully boring). He’s my toughest critic, and he doesn’t hold back! But as compared to before, I’ve evolved, and shed many inhibitions behind.

So, what changed?

It didn’t happen overnight. There was no magical transformation. It was a slow, organic process that unfolded over years.

Practice was key. Every opportunity, no matter how small, was a chance to refine, to cut out distractions, and to find my rhythm.

Observing other speakers played a crucial role. I watched them keenly—how they carried themselves, how they engaged their audience, how they used humour and pauses and tone to create impact. Every great speaker had something to teach, and I absorbed those lessons over time.

Expertise and #experience made a difference. When you know your subject inside and out, the words flow more easily.

Confidence took years to build. At first, I had to fake it. Then, I started feeling it. Now, I carry it with me.

But the real turning point was finding my own #Authenticity. The day I stopped trying to sound “perfect” and started embracing my own voice was the day everything changed. It didn’t matter if my voice was too soft or if I wasn’t the most polished speaker in the room. When I spoke from the heart, when I truly believed in what I was saying, people stopped noticing the imperfections. They just listened to what I was saying.

And now, as I watch my son step onto his own path, I know he will have his moments of doubt. He will stumble, just as I did. But I also know this—he will find his voice. He will shape his words. And one day, he will stand tall, speak with conviction, and own his space—just like I learned to do.

Because confidence isn’t about never being afraid. It’s about showing up, speaking up, and allowing yourself to grow- bit by bit- into the person you were meant to be.

Cheers!!

The Unseen Struggles

The Unseen Struggles

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker “I am continuously trying, but I feel like I’m constantly failing.” This was the first thing she said when we started talking about her weight issues. She was a 32-year-old working mother of a 16 months old baby girl, struggling with 

THE WEIGHT YOU DON’T SEE

THE WEIGHT YOU DON’T SEE

Nineteen dietitians! That’s how many my patient had consulted before she walked into my clinic today for a consultation for #weightloss. She had tried everything—calorie counting, portion control, intermittent fasting, medical diets, naturopathy, —only to be met with the same assumptions: She must be eating 

The Problem with Dominant Voices

The Problem with Dominant Voices

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Over the past week, I have been trying to figure out what is my real issue with the recent statement made by L&T Chairman, Mr. S. N. Subrahmanyan, proposing a 90-hour workweek. It’s not just him; similar sentiments were voiced by Mr. Narayana Murthy last year. Even our beloved superstar Shah Rukh Khan, has often proclaimed that success demands sacrifice (sleep etc is for lowly mortals). The underlying message seems clear: to achieve greatness, one must be willing to pay the ultimate price.

There is no denying that these individuals are extremely influential figures in their fields. They are overachievers, highly successful, and immensely respected. Their opinions carry a lot of weight. And while much of the world erupted in outrage over Mr. Subrahmanyan’s statement, there is a significant faction of society nodding in agreement, wondering what the whole fuss is about. Some think that the whole conversation about work-life balance and Gen Z (or Gen alpha or beta or whatever you want to call it!) is overrated. Many would agree that staring at your wife for too long could actually make you feel headier and more imbalanced and it may be better to stare at your laptop instead! Some may not even have the luxury of making a choice to have balance in their lives as they struggle to make ends meet and couldn’t care less.

I’d like to address this issue from two perspectives: as a doctor and as a person.

As a doctor who has endured gruelling 40-hour shifts, I speak from experience. A 90-hour workweek translates to working 13-15 hours a day, depending on whether one works six or seven days a week. And we are talking about forever…… For corporate companies, this is a dream—a committed, overworked employee (almost a slave) willing to forgo sleep, health, and personal life for the bottom line. But for individuals, it’s a catastrophic health hazard. It defies everything we’ve learned in medical school and preach in our clinics. On the one hand, we advise people to sleep well, manage stress, eat healthy, and exercise. On the other, these voices of influence are urging people to do the exact opposite. The irony is almost laughable, except it’s not. I am actually wondering if I got it all wrong as a doctor for the last 30 years!

Let’s break it down: prolonged work hours increase the risk of chronic illnesses such as hypertension, diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular diseases. Sleep deprivation leads to impaired cognitive function and mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Burnout—a term we’ve become all too familiar with—is real and devastating. In fact, the World Health Organization recognizes burnout as an occupational phenomenon. So, while we’re pushing people to work themselves to exhaustion in the name of success and national progress, we’re simultaneously creating a public health crisis. Isn’t it alarming how frequently we hear nowadays about dynamic, ambitious, and seemingly unstoppable young CEOs succumbing to untimely deaths in their 40s? And these are CEOs. What about the average employee who does not even have a voice or a choice in the system?

Consider where India stands on the global happiness index—a dismal rank of 126 out of 145, already near the bottom, reflecting widespread dissatisfaction and declining mental well-being. Compare this with several Asian economies, such as Japan and South Korea, where long working hours have historically been glorified. These countries have witnessed a dramatic rise in depression rates, suicides, and a significant decline in happiness levels. The correlation between overwork and deteriorating mental health is well-documented, yet we seem intent on repeating the same mistakes. At this rate I am not so sure about the economy but we will definitely touch the bottom of the happiness index in the next few years! Not a goal we should aspire for!

Overworking the young workforce today will only exacerbate health problems, reduce productivity, and strain healthcare systems tomorrow. Sacrificing well-being for short-term economic gains is not just shortsighted—it’s stupid and reckless.

Now, as a person, I can’t help but wonder: what is the purpose of all this sacrifice? What is the definition of success? For every Shah Rukh Khan who glamorizes and glorifies sacrifice, there are countless stories of people who’ve lost their health, relationships, and joy chasing an ever-elusive dream of so called success. What’s the point of a rising GDP if the individuals contributing to it are physically and emotionally broken? As a mother, I can’t help but wonder—what would I truly want for my child? The thought of him growing into high-achieving individual is certainly appealing, but in my heart, I want him to find contentment and happiness above all else.

This brings me to the crux of the matter: the responsibility of dominant voices. When influential figures speak, their words carry power. They inspire, shape opinions, and influence decisions. But with great power comes great responsibility. What you believe personally and what you propagate as a leader are not the same. Personal philosophies can remain just that—personal. However, once you speak publicly, your words take on significant weight and gravitas. Corporate leaders and company owners have considerable influence, and when they share certain views, there’s often an element of power play involved. These are the men (and women) in power. What they say has to be followed (usually) otherwise there is always a fear of being cancelled officially or unofficially.

Statements like “work 90 hours a week” or “success demands sacrifice” are not mere opinions; they set dangerous precedents. They risk normalizing (sometimes idolizing) unhealthy behaviours and creating a culture where overwork is equated with worthiness and tends to bring validation from others. Leaders need to understand that their influence extends far beyond boardrooms and fan clubs. They have the power to inspire positive change or reinforce toxic practices.

So, my plea to those with dominant voices is simple: think before you speak. Understand the impact of your words. Success does not need to come at the cost of health and happiness. Sacrifice is not a badge of honour when it leads to suffering. As leaders, please champion a culture of balance and well-being, because a thriving nation is built not on overworked, burned-out individuals, but on healthy, fulfilled, happy and inspired citizens.

Above all, please don’t be dominating and loud, be kind and considerate.

#WorkLifeBalance #MentalHealthMatters #PublicHealth #SustainableSuccess #HealthyWorkCulture #OverworkIsNotSuccess #SayNoToBurnout #ResponsibleLeadership #ToxicWorkCulture #HappinessOverHustle

The Power Of A Common Man

The Power Of A Common Man

THE POWER OF A COMMON MAN ©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker My husband and I have always divided our household chores equally. If I order vegetables, he orders the fruits. If our cook doesn’t show up, either one of us can step in to cook. If 

Reflections 2025

Reflections 2025

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker As we step into 2025, a quarter of this century has already passed. It’s fascinating to reflect on the world of 1925, a hundred years ago, and to imagine what it might look like a hundred years ahead, in 2125. We 

Beyond the prescription

Beyond the prescription

Beyond the prescription

©Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

I’ve always enjoyed talking to my patients, and as much as I love surgery, I truly cherish my time in the OPD. However, the time available in the OPD is limited, and we need to cover a lot in those precious few minutes with each patient. As healthcare professionals, we often become laser-focused on providing well-meaning advice and delivering a neat looking prescription (a challenge in itself for any doctor! Thank God for the digital softwares!). By the end, we feel we’ve fulfilled our duty.

As our practice grows and the number of patients increases, the time spent with each patient tends to become shorter, or the waiting list grows longer. Both scenarios lead to decreased patient satisfaction. But it’s not just patient satisfaction that takes a hit—our own job satisfaction suffers too. Over time, frustration starts building on both sides, and we all know where that leads to.

In recent months, I’ve felt that tension growing within me. I began to question: if I wasn’t feeling satisfied with the consultations, what were my patients walking away with? As obesity care specialists, were we truly making a meaningful impact when it came to lifestyle changes and behavioural modifications? Despite spending nearly 40 minutes with each patient, it felt like something was missing, like we weren’t reaching the level of progress we aimed for. We were not getting through the way we wanted to.

Fortunately, I’m lucky to have friends who share a similar mindset. When I discussed my concerns with my friend Dr. Tejal Lathia a renowned endocrinologist, she highly recommended the Motivational Interviewing course by Prof. Miller and encouraged me to explore it. Although I’ve been in medicine for nearly 30 years and can confidently say I’m a skilled doctor and surgeon, I must admit I’ve never been formally trained in the art and science of communication.

As a bariatric surgeon and specialist in obesity care, I’ve come to realize that communication is the real game changer. We can perform the most advanced surgeries, but it’s only through consistent and effective communication that we can truly help our patients make lasting lifestyle changes. Without it, both doctor and patient can fall into a cycle of judgment, bias, and blame, which benefits no one.

Yesterday in the clinic, we tried the “person-centered” approach for the first time. “We went beyond seeing the deficits on the patient’s side (3 months post a bariatric operation) such as- staying up late in the night, skipping breakfast, feeling low on energy, avoiding exercise, and neglecting her prescribed supplements.” On a normal day, our usual approach would have been to tell what she was doing wrong, offer well-meaning advice, explain the associated health risks of future complications, give her a prescription and send her off, hoping she’d correct course and be on a better trajectory by her next visit.

However, the person-centered approach encourages curiosity. It teaches us to move beyond assumptions about what we think we already know and what we believe is needed. It invites us to engage in deeper conversations with our patients. “With some gentle prompting, this particular patient revealed that for the past six months, she had been burdened by intense guilt. A close relative’s health had deteriorated after being admitted to a hospital that she had recommended. The financial burden from the medical bills was overwhelming, and the relative’s daughter had to give up her full-time job to care for her mother. This guilt weighed heavily on my patient, robbing her of sleep and triggering a cascade of problems—waking up late, missing meals, low energy, and neglecting self-care. It was also preventing her from feeling or accepting any joy in her own life

She broke down in tears during our conversation, and we discussed the possibility of seeking help from a counselor. While she wasn’t entirely open to the idea, a seed had been planted. She seemed more receptive to make changes to her lifestyle and came up with some solutions on her own. More importantly, she felt understood, and we, as her healthcare team, felt like we had moved beyond simply judging her for not meeting our expectations.

This experience reminded us that as healthcare professionals working with chronic conditions like obesity, we can’t “fix” patients overnight. We can’t just hand out prescriptions and expect perfect adherence. We aren’t in a position to command or take charge of their lives. Our role is to guide them, safely and hopefully enjoyably, towards a destination we both desire. We must acknowledge that life happens to everyone—our patients are no exception.

For those living with obesity, these challenges are often compounded. In addition to everyday struggles, they also face the stigma and bias that come with societal expectations. Patients who have undergone bariatric surgery often feel the weight of taking what is perceived as a “shortcut,” along with the pressure of not meeting expectations, even after the surgery.

As healthcare providers, it’s crucial to make the most of the limited time we have with our patients. Sometimes, the connections we form matter more than the prescriptions we give. Kindness, empathy, and compassion are universally effective tools, often more powerful than any advice alone.

Incorporating motivational interviewing into our practice has the potential to transform not only the patient’s journey but also our own. By fostering deeper connections and helping patients uncover their own motivations, we empower them to make meaningful and lasting changes. As healthcare professionals, we should be open to learning and refining the art of communication at every stage of our careers. It’s not just about enhancing patient satisfaction—this approach brings greater fulfillment and satisfaction to us as doctors too. A well-communicated, empathetic consultation can be the difference between frustration and fulfillment for both parties, ensuring that the care we provide is as effective as the surgeries we perform.

I’m just beginning this journey, but I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can enrich my own path and perhaps make a small difference along the way.

PS: The image is AI generated.

Keep the faith

Keep the faith

KEEP THE FAITH Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker Last week marked my son’s 11th birthday! We celebrated this milestone with an unforgettable family getaway in Goa. I was hoping to avoid the usual pressure of organizing a birthday party and the works…. (that plan kind of