Keep the faith

KEEP THE FAITH

Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Last week marked my son’s 11th birthday! We celebrated this milestone with an unforgettable family getaway in Goa. I was hoping to avoid the usual pressure of organizing a birthday party and the works…. (that plan kind of failed as the party eventually did happen after coming back ….. but that’s a story for another day!).

Even though we had not planned anything special, it turned out to be a beautiful day. Goa has this lovely vibe filled with joy and happiness and when combined with birthday excitement it gets elevated to a totally different level altogether. Everywhere we went, strangers came up to him and wished him a happy birthday! During lunch, we asked the restaurant to play the birthday song, and almost every guest there joined in singing for him (he was embarrassed, but secretly delighted!).

Later in the evening, we found ourselves on the beach, where a few amateur anglers were casting their lines. Our sunny boy was really keen to try fishing, so we approached them with a birthday request to borrow their fishing rods. They were more than happy to share some tips and let us have a go at it ourselves.

It was the generosity of strangers that truly made the day special and filled it with unexpected joy.

We dedicated his 11th birthday to all the kind “#strangers” in our #gratitudejournal that night.

However, as a parent, the word “stranger”, is associated with a lot of negative connotations. We teach our children to be wary of strangers from a very early age, and rightly so. Most of us (including myself) would skip a heartbeat if we saw our kids interacting with someone unfamiliar. We train them to have a very high degree of suspicion when it comes to strangers and their intent. This is universal. Be it boys or girls. We tell them that no uncle or aunt is “safe”. We expect them to maintain a safe distance from everyone. I think I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said that we actually teach our children to be suspicious of other human beings from childhood. In doing so, we may inadvertently teach our children to be mistrustful of others from a very young age. This creates a contradiction: we want them to be team players while simultaneously instructing them not to trust people. Children’s brains are not mature enough to navigate such mixed messages, and I can’t help but wonder what kind of adults we are shaping who might carry #suspicion as a core value.

Today our world is hyperconnected and yet human beings are feeling increasingly isolated day by day. We can sit side by side on flights across continents for hours without exchanging a simple “hello.” Be it adults or children, we find more and more comfort in connecting with our screens than with other people. As our world shifts online, we are stepping into uncharted territories of negativity. Unfortunately, the trolls that once lurked beneath bridges have now surfaced online and are crossing boundaries that were once unimaginable. Behind the veil of anonymity, people can unleash a cruelty that is often suppressed in face-to-face interactions. Ironically, as we overprotect our children, we limit their opportunities to engage with others, leaving them more vulnerable to these unseen, cruel forces that can negatively impact their mental health.

Unfortunately, today the acceptable norms of negativity, mistrust and disrespect have reached a new high, with even the leaders of some of the world’s greatest nations engaging in behaviours that undermine their stature. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), this increases the ratings of media outlets and news channels, highlighting the disturbing shift in what we as a society accept as entertainment today. It creates a very poor example for the next generation, who are left questioning whom they can look up to.

However, a few lessons I’ve learned in life are that people, by and large, are still kind. Kindness is still the norm… (kidnapping is the exception!). While I’ve experienced a chain-snatching incident once, I’ve had auto drivers return my lost phones four times, sometimes even after a month (yes, I can be a bit absent-minded!). I’ve made friends with strangers—though some of these friendships didn’t last, others have endured for decades. And despite all its negative aspects, our phones have actually helped us stay in touch with childhood friends more easily. Even after 35 years, I still share memories of school days with my group of class five friends on our WhatsApp chat.

Trust has been the foundation of my life. I’ve trusted in the unknown, and magic has happened in my life many times. As my son turns another year older, my wish for him is to receive the gift of trusting in the unknown, in the goodness of strangers, and most importantly, in himself. I hope he learns that while the world has its share of challenges, faith in people and in life can open doors to endless possibilities. I hope that he is able to be realistically optimistic in this fast-changing world of ours.

Life is far too short to get caught up in negativity, and true magic only happens when we keep the faith.

That’s my wish for him— and perhaps a reminder to myself too: to always believe in the beauty of the unexpected and to trust that kindness, in the end, outweighs everything else. Keep the faith, and let life surprise you.

PS: Image is AI generated