©️Dr. Aparna Govil Bhasker

Last week, my son had one of his first serious #publicspeaking assignments at school. As always, he wanted to set a benchmark for himself. With no siblings for comparison, he turned to my husband and me, eager to hear about our speaking experiences—searching for something to measure himself against.

Just before leaving, he asked me, “How did you do in your first public speaking assignment as a child?”

That simple question took me down the memory lane, almost 40 years back. I remembered that the first time I went up on the stage in front of the whole school- ‘I Froze’! ……..My mother had put in so much effort—dressing me up in a beautiful outfit, making me rehearse my lines over and over—but in that moment my heart started pounding and my throat tightened. I just stood there, wordless and helpless.

Things didn’t change much as I grew older. Speaking never came naturally. Making conversation was an effort always and in my primary years I still remember being labelled as a boring kid who was no fun. Conversations felt like a chore, and it was no surprise that no one was particularly eager to sit next to me because I barely spoke.

Later, when I moved to Mumbai after high school, I wasn’t fluent in spoken English, but that was no trouble for me at all. Silence was always my comfort zone. I was so at ease with silence that for almost six months, I hardly spoke at all.

….But life has a way of pushing us beyond our safe spaces.

In today’s world, no matter what field you choose, public speaking isn’t optional—it’s essential. As a doctor, I have to teach, deliver lectures, present research at conferences, and speak at public awareness programs. And now, in 2025, making an impact also means stepping onto social media and create content—an idea that, for someone like me, has always felt daunting. I’ve always been camera shy and hated being on video.

My first public lecture as a doctor was nothing short of a disaster—riddled with awkward pauses, filled with “hums” and “ho’s”, and very shaky confidence. It fell flat.

But with every speaking opportunity, I improved—little by little, step by step. Today, I can hold my own on stage and pass as a decent speaker at any meeting. I know that there is still plenty of room to grow (just ask my 11-year-old son, who finds my videos painfully boring). He’s my toughest critic, and he doesn’t hold back! But as compared to before, I’ve evolved, and shed many inhibitions behind.

So, what changed?

It didn’t happen overnight. There was no magical transformation. It was a slow, organic process that unfolded over years.

Practice was key. Every opportunity, no matter how small, was a chance to refine, to cut out distractions, and to find my rhythm.

Observing other speakers played a crucial role. I watched them keenly—how they carried themselves, how they engaged their audience, how they used humour and pauses and tone to create impact. Every great speaker had something to teach, and I absorbed those lessons over time.

Expertise and #experience made a difference. When you know your subject inside and out, the words flow more easily.

Confidence took years to build. At first, I had to fake it. Then, I started feeling it. Now, I carry it with me.

But the real turning point was finding my own #Authenticity. The day I stopped trying to sound “perfect” and started embracing my own voice was the day everything changed. It didn’t matter if my voice was too soft or if I wasn’t the most polished speaker in the room. When I spoke from the heart, when I truly believed in what I was saying, people stopped noticing the imperfections. They just listened to what I was saying.

And now, as I watch my son step onto his own path, I know he will have his moments of doubt. He will stumble, just as I did. But I also know this—he will find his voice. He will shape his words. And one day, he will stand tall, speak with conviction, and own his space—just like I learned to do.

Because confidence isn’t about never being afraid. It’s about showing up, speaking up, and allowing yourself to grow- bit by bit- into the person you were meant to be.

Cheers!!